pissed off

hi bloggie... damn pissed off... saw acadamic calendar... wah stupid sia... cut my vacation 1 to 2 week... then nx time.. my sis holiday i study... wth... angry.... i read te newspaper article b4... but nv thot will affect us... #$%^&*... angry... hai.... oh ya was workign yesterdae... then xian got cut on her finger... hafiz too... poor things... then i work at box... nth much happen... boring day...then take pay slip... hee hee... got $$ again.... now thinking of playing pool... hee hee

-=:agu:=- a verbal wound is as bad as a physical one... or is it worse???

played pool

hi bloggie... woke up at 7.30 and go skool for cell bio presentation... thank god finish liao... then go and play pool... so fun... first time play.. and think got beginner luck... then went for dinner... haha at pool game... i v lucky... rebound ball get in... although 1st time playing... hook to the game....

oh ya,
P.S.: Guys, i am betta liao... v sad coz i happen to noe sum truth but better liao... dun worry.... i am not say moody or wat... juz sad... so dun wurry

-=:agu:=- i Still Prefer happinEss... as i Can Forget my Worries....

stress day

hi bloggie... had an eventful dae...

woke up at 12.00... and watch some tv and do research for my project... and while waiting for my friend email... for the project did some revision and juz laze around... and wrote blog... then left home at 5pm to go gv... muz be thinking y go there rite... actually went down to see something interesting... and i studied in the locker... while waiting for mick to go.... in the end talk wif ting, peh bout the good old days... and they went for supper... didn't go... see i go supper one in a blue moon... hee hee... see lai in "better spirit" coz adida msg me said he was not in the afternoon.... well... i clarify wif adida liao... alan is the one who say hard to contact joel... so adida did not really said tt his line is cancelled... i believe her... coz if she would be the one babbling around i will not say anything in the first place.... beside... i juz said his line going to be cancelled tt's all...

presentation in the mornign yet i haven sleep.... die ah...



-=:agu:=- crying no longer cum at will... tears flow down my cheek everytime i think bout this....

stupid me

hi bloggie... think i am a major screw up... becoz i found out a lot of stupid things i did...

first lai,
i didn't expect things to happen this way.. adida and rene juz ask me wat happen to joel... i juz said hard to contact him and his line is cancelled... tt's all... and ph found out bout it... now lai think i tell everyone his secret... but no loh... i noe my limits... sorry is all i can say... lai... v sorry... hope u still continue share ur worries... but if u dun wan to tell me is ok... coz i lost ur trust.. juz tt i wan u to be happy

then pl,
she said things that made me realise wat a fool i haf been... i thot i was sensitive enuff to detect it... but i was not... i finally understood things i nv knew... i nv expect it to be this way... maybe i dun deserve to gif advise... i am not even aware of wat is happening... wat a screw up am i... i am sorry pl... yet sorry is not a way to make up or atone anything... sorry is juz a way to express my guilt and my ignorance... i realli did not want it end this way....

li was feeling terrible last nite... i found out all the above... i am the biggest fool... juz when lai start to tok to me bout his prob... this happen... pl told me things made me feel little, guilty and made me realise how self centered i am...

all i can is sorry... but sorry is not the word u will accept...
forgiveness u may give
forgetting it, will be an hard task...

i dun noe y am i writing all this here... i am such a screw up... and i thot i am a good fren.... i was feeling guilty? yes... angry? a little... for angry wif myself, angry wif not being able to see all this... sad? yes i am sad... disappointed in myself...

think i shld go reflect

oh ya,
JY: WHAT THE HECK HAPPEN TO U... I DUN WAN U TO BE SCREW UP LIKE ME... CAN U LEAVE A NOTE OR SAY SOMTHING... I DUN WAN TO RESORT TO CALLING U... TELL ME WAT"S WRONG ASAP...

-=:agu:=- being naive dosen't mean being tactless

add on

hi again... juz to add on... saw ur blogs liao

so leaving comments

pl: seems to me... u haf matured another level... and i believe u can be semsible enuff to do things on ur own... i haf faith in u... sorry bout ur grand dad... i bet things will be fine... *hugs and kisses*
cy: i am sorry bout ur bdae... i was hoping u haf a happy 18 bdae even we are not there... and i am not stressed out by ur problems... i am glad u guys share it wif me... it made me feel impt... and i do share my problems wif u guys thru blog... i may not be the one toking... but i am the one listerning... and the one who gives advise... all i wish is tt u guys are happy and find my advice good...
jy: i still go to ur blog... secretly hoping it will be reopened... it pained my heart when u closed it... maybe u are having a hard time... maybe u haf shared ur prob wif sumone else... but can u leave me a note to make me feel better...? i noe i am nosey... but i am worried my gal...
st: y almost cried when u see my blog... i did not write anything sad inside i guess... i juz write out my feelings tt's all... and y u want to cry... which entry can tell me? hee hee... but i am alrite... if i am stress i think i will shut myself... beside... rene has advised me to be patient... so dun worry guys...

P.S.: guys... my life has being betta day by day since i noe u... i am not sad... neither am i stressed out by ur complains and prob... sometimes i sleep late at night is not because i stress but trying to be nosey and solve ur prob... sometimes... stuff can be solved by urself... u juz need sumone to analyse for u or even sumone juz to hear u whining... i am glad. i can be tt sumone... i am not an impt person... but what u guys did made me feel impt... will luv u guys... and if i am sad... i noe u are there for me... i won't lose out ok... hee hee... *hugs*

pain

yo bloggie... sorry so long nv blog... had a wild weekend... hee hee

fri
went to work and try to change my schedule on sat so can go ktv... hee hee... then was doing kacang wif adida... and in the end i became coolie again... and guess who is the manager... bee yann... i juz eat a little of the cheese fries haf to work like hell... but fun... but muz buy hand insurance... coz she keep injuring mine hand... lesson learnt... nv eat anything offer by bee yann... coz bound to work alot... but i haf fun... so its ok... then sumthing bad happen... i too playful le... i wanted to scare adida... but i did scare her... by injuring myself... then i told bee yann cannot work and i felt guilty... sorry bee... oh well... i was limping home...

sat...
haf to go to skool to attend a tok... but i did not turn up coz of the leg injury... then in the end also did not go to ktv... :( oh well... retribution... then see doc... but think no good one seeing another one...

sun
went to work... lucky at box... then slack there... help ting do sum stuff.. and nv do much... then down 2 bucks...dunnoe how cum down... nvm... then haf supper wif ting, lai, peh, and rene... until nearly 4 am... omg... but is once in a blue moon so okay loh...

today...

at skool for lecture... going to see chi physician...

-=:agu:=- "ouch" is an expression i used when wounds are inflicted to me....

nice movie

yo bloggie... feeling fine today... watched last samurai yesterdae... so nice... i cried ok... at the end... so touching... hmm.. oh ya, today was skool was fine... suddenly i haf an urge to watch movie... i watched along came polly wif adida... ting: it is free listed liao... wanted to watch wif u but u were bz... then went to arcade wif ada... play daytona... hee hee... basically today is a good day for me... oh ya... SORRY all... i can't join u guys in sat... me got work... trying to change it away... if possible... coz i thot u guys juz going for dinner so... so sorry cy... i will make it up... i promise...

ting: life is nv a straight road... think u are juz too tired... take a rest, and u can continue better on this life journey... dun be stressed out... be cool... well i also nv get to slack at home... even my mom can't see me often... patience gal... u can endure this
jy: i am v worried here gal... pls let me noe wat's wrong... thanks

-=:agu:=- words of wisdom is not spoken but understood

worried bout lai

yo bloggie.... now in ITA class... lai msg me this morning... joel did not contact him... lai was sad... he msg me tt joel did not meet him... now he is in peh's house... haiyo... i alreadi did not sleep well last night... slept at 5.00.... then now this happen... hai... lai is worried he will not see joel again... hai... now at least i more relieved ... he is at peh peh house... hope he can get over it... hai... watching last samurai lata... hope i dun fall asleep...

-=:agu:=- i can't help but worried bout u...

prob again

hi bloggie... dun noe where to start... hai.. maybe shld not haf gone back to work...

i start from mon then

mon
haf HI classes wif ting... i was actually starting to crap again... meaning going back to my original self... it took sum time... but i was fully back... at least i can be sure that i was back... oh ya... my trainer sort of like found out my china name... and they were like "ruiyan" .... i like my chinese name... but i am not used to be called tt... i am in S'PORE for heaven's sake... not china... y use my chinese name... then after lesson went down to j8 for dinner at LJS... then i cor lai... coz he msg me in the afternoon whether we want to haf lunch... so in the end he was at j8 wif cy and rengen... and after dinner... i and lai and ting sort of chatted... coz i asked him is watever bothering him over yet... then we started to tok.... well... in the end ... we concluded tt maybe watever tt person is doing is for revenge... i told lai... to defeat him... is to be happy... no point being sad... perhapes he did not see me seriously... perhapes... i was being too dramatic... i dunnnoe... but if lai believe tt revenge is on the person's mind... the only way is to not walk into the trap.... then we chatted... and after ting left... i and lai tok bout biz... we walked while we tok... we got sum ideas but we need to work on tt... then i went home...

tue

lucky today lecture... pretty slack... then decided to watch last samurai(finally) at yishun wif my dear ah ma and my darling ada... then went to work... was early... coz mrs tang let us off early... then was tokin to ada... and u noe wat ken bdae is cum up... ken as in gv ken... hee hee.. and think i will share the bdae present... then was doing closing wif wen quan the guy tt like to tease me.... even thou' i nv tease him... i v good on ok... then i was toking to ada... and pretty glad she treat me as a close fren in gv... hee hee... i do treat her as a close fren.. if not she will not get all my suan~ing... then lai came at 8.50... he asked if i was free.. but i got session cuming in so i told him tt... but i manage to spend a few mins... he cried... i was worried... but he haven told me wat happen... then after tt he tok on the phone wif peh... after work... i tok to him and he told me wat happen... b4 tt... alan saw both of us at the enterance of the female toilet... near there... then he walked away... lata when lai tok to peh on the phone... he came to me and ask me wat happen.... but i dun noe wat happen yet... then he went on saying is becoz of him... then i was like (-_-")... he tink he is tt impt meh... can't lai worrys bout other things... then i was pretty pissed off... and i got siang to look after lai for me... while i worked... after work... i chatted wif him... he sobbed... i was on the verge of tears... but i didn't cry... no pt crying together... maybe i can't relate the prob to me... but it do pains me seeing him getting hurt... so i accompanied him and i watched test print in the end... it was something's gotta give... i actually intended to go home after work but he was like damn sad... so i stayed... the show was not bad... but i did not enjoy it... coz lai affected me a little... then after movie we went home... oh ya... ah ma tested lai bike and fall *ouch* but is a gentle fall... yet the scene is so comical... ting was like "are u ok".. me and zhihao was laughing... coz the light goes off when she fall... but we dun mean it... n we noe she is ok... coz got ride b4 can see the degree of the fall is like so little...

i am feeling sad? depressed? worried! i am feeling worried... i worry bout lai... well... at least he told me bout it... and i was content tt he share wat he told me... maybe coz i was available and he was desperate of getting somone to tok to...

lai(noun):
a guy i knew for 5 years... we know each other in sec 1... he was beside me... but divided by an aisle... we were good frens in the lata part of sec skool... he is damn good at suaning ppl... and the one who made me cry yet the one who made me laugh... he is also one of my best fren, one of my closer male frens... he is the guy who pull me into gv... which opens up my door and others came thru it... and i found close fren thru these doors... he is the guy who nv fails to tickle me... and is loyal to frens... he will stick up for u and will clear ur mess even though it is not his responsibilty... yet he is the guy i do worry bout... the guy who pms the most... and the guy who affected me... he is a remarkable guy yet... he is falling... his determination is not wif him... he does not face his prob... he avoid... coz tt is the easy way out... and he met joel... the guy who made him and yet break him... lai is a guy fren whom i will nv forget and nv will...

joel(noun):
a guy i know form gv... a guy whom i knew for few months... a guy who made lai happy... a guy who is the right guy for lai... who came at the right time at the wrong place... joel opens up lai's door... yet lai did a lot for joel... many things joel dun noe.. joel a guy whom i alwaes remember for his ego... and recently... lai prob is added by him...

sorry if u think i was childish... i am trying to face this as rational as i can... as mature as i can... but i am still not as mature... i haven seen everything and done everything... so i try to view it to my best ability... rene ahma advise me to be patient... but i thought bout it... if i haven being patient enuff... i wolud not haf bother this... i noe my patience are wearing out... and i am trying v hard to be patient...

oh ya reading blogs juz now...
pl: u said life's unfair... well no one claim life's fair... it is the hurdles tt we pass... the mountains tt we conquer... tt make us mature... i noe i am not the best person to say all this... but then... i alwaes believe in making unjustified life fair... every twisted events adds into my memories... every difficulties allows my growth... so dun be discouraged... i believe u can make... every one can and will... how u want life to turn out, it can be controlled... we juz can't control wat is cuming our way... i believe... things will get better for u...
jy: sorry gal... but i was wondering y u closed ur blog... y closed one of my means in knowing u betta... y closed the blog tt let me be aware of wat happens to u.... u encouraged me and said b4... u will be there... i can do the same too... there is alwaes... ting, pl, cy... there is so many u can contact... y closed the blog... can u at least send me a msg to clear my doubts... like i said b4... u are an incredible woman... u are not as naive as u seem... i believe u are mature enuff... so juz tok to anyone... i am worried here....

-=:agu:=- patiences works together wif detemination...

wokaholic

yo bloggie... damn sian at home and i haf test tomorrow but no mood to study.... think i workaholic... muz work then i find time easier to pass... hee hee.. well i type yesterdae tt working at gv not as fun... coz now left peh, jing xian adida... the gang at gv v small liao... v sian... of coz there are other ppl lah... but i felt tt now staff is like dirt... u noe we can't eat in the temporary pack room... wth... i mean we staff need break haf to eat at locker... stupid michael... i mean the big belly one... stupid ang mo... then at least ting and wence pretty good to me yesterdae... let me and lai eat at the back of box... hee hee... hmm... me recently down $$ for box... last time 2 CMM... now $8.50... hai sian.... oh well... and i scuplture ballon for my dear colleagues yesterdae... heee.... and emi and kel watched along came polly at 7.20... cy and her sis and their bf came watch the same movie at 11.40.... hmmm... well... today ting mei think will be at the 5566 thingy...*roll eye*... hai... hmm... think tt's all

-=:agu:=- HavIng Fun is Spending time wif ppl u like....

Vdae

yo bloggie... juz reach home.. hee.. work at cb juz now... then the cb so small... nth to do... finish cb closing by 1.00 hee... oh ya yesterdae was fridae the 13... but our class make it like valentine... i got flowers from my classmates and chocolates... whil ei give chocolates too.. hee hee.... then at workplace i got flowers from rene ah ma... there is even a msg...

Agu,

The loveliest days are when you wake up to find that love still colours your world through people who truly care & never fail to forget you...

so sweet... i intend to make ballon sculpture for vdae for my frens... heee heee....

hmm... oh ya... lai was dicussing whether wan to set up biz... me is ok... but i got no capital... hai... that haf to see first....

find tt working at gv not as fun... coz there is big belly mick, and v sian... maybe i work on sat night and sun morning nx time... and maybe even dun work for the time being... but will haf no $$... sian...

-=:agu:=- Nv BreAks One FeeLing By SaYing " I Love You" but Dun mEan It...

sian

yo bloggie... so sorry nv blog for so long... hmmm... from thurs blog can see got test... so tell u wat happen during the past few days... did not blog coz of tests and damn lazy and tired man

hmm... on sunday... was laming wif bee yann, adida n stefanie... hahaa... i do kacang... but i was damn tired... coz the night b4 slept at 2 plus... hee hee... then when i arrived at work i looked like zombie... bee yann was like "are u ok, u wan to change wif jing xian" but i say nvm its ok... then after setting up the store... i sit at the store for sum time... then i get vani to replace me coz i need to get a drink and boy i became damn bz... on my way to pack room... i saw adida and stefanie moving stock and i was like stuck cannot go to pack room so i sort of help them... i help them push the stuff to office and i became coolie... move stock after stock... cheese tin.... cups... twisties... lids... so tiring... hahaha... then during break i play wordsearch wif adida... ahhaha... lame rite... but i like...

hee... on mon


went to skool and haf lesson... found out OBC pract test nx week... argh.... and got ITP prac test on the same day... omg... then went for HI lesson at 5.30... same class as Ting... yipee... hee hee... nx time can do sign language instead of talking... hee... hee... then went to j8 after tt


tue

at home study for cell bio... sianzzz

wed...
cell bio test...go j8 haf dinner wif lai and see schedule... in the end ting jie got scolding by big belly mick... coz we in office... wth... oh dinner wif bee yann too... she is having her dance practice like everyday.... only mon offf... and is like all the way to september... oh... she will be performing at ngee ann poly on 27 march... maybe can go support her... hee... enjoy bee yann company....

thurs.
uwaa test and presentation... sianzzz study for OBC...

fri...
test for OBc is fine... then got work at 6.00 cb... wif lai and joel... working tomorrow on vdae as well hee hee

-=:agu:=- missing u is probably the worst feeling next to losing u...

working yesterdae... laming at the booth

yo bloggie... wat am i doing so early in the morning when i can sleep in... coz of the open hse... haf to go to skool... so tired last night... reach home at 2.00... was doing kacang closing... then i find out actually wence put me box closing... but nvm lah... me got 1 day box can liao... dun blame whoever change the schedule... hahaa... atleast let me keep one of the days as box...and i was laming at work yesterdae... wif cheow tee who is doing kacang closing today.. hee hee... and i found sumthing damn digusting... again... hahaha.... hmmm wat else... oh ya slept at 3.00 last night wake up at 8.00... poor thing right... today night manager is wence... hopefully can be fun too...coz got peh peh, and cheow tee and jing xian... oh ya baby... hee hee hmm... wat else... oh ya, shan jie win the singing competition from the talent time... she go man... join american idol... hahaha... welll v happy for her... hmm oh well... bring laptop to skool to do sum work... so little time... so much to do...

-=:agu:=- HaPpIneSS is A WoRd thAt DeScRibe ThE FeElinG WheN uR PresEnce IS NeaR...

open house

yo bloggie... sorry didn't blog for a long time again.... coz being bz at work and at skool... do u noe i haf being sleeping for less than 6 hrs a day... i am mentally and physically drained... hahaha... hmm... oh ya today is np open hse... then my class haf a booth whereby we sell sweet corn and toffee apples... sweet corn again... (-_-''')... y did i suggest it in the first place... now i'm sick of it.. hahaha... then will be at the booth tomorrow and on sat... and i am working night shift for that 2 days as well... dun noe how to survive... hahaha... oh ya... the schedule was slightly betta than i predicted... thanks wence...heehee... at least i got 1 day BOX... yipee!!! juz hope no change... hahaha... then think nx week will be damn bz...

wed: cell bio test and hand up ITA proj.
thu: WAA test and presentation for CATS
fri: OBC test...

oh ya nx mon... hi lesson... learn sign language... cool.... hahaha.... and nx week is v day... my class ppl is like so enthu... hahaha... oh well maybe i work till v dae then go on break for common test... working at kacang tomorrow... hopefully not bz... and i can keep awake... hahaha (",)...

-=:agu:=- TeArs ArE VeRy PoWeRfuL thInGs... ThEy CaN ExPrEss JoY and SaDneSS wIth JuSt A DrOp...

thank yenny mom

yo bloggie... went to yenny's hse... nice lunch and haf lots of fun there.... and went down to work... i start work at 6.10.... hahaha....in the end i haf to help out at kacang... expected... hahaha.... me doing kacang closing tomorrow... and juz fill in request today... actually i wanna work one day only... in the end... wence is realli like shorthanded... gif him 3 days instead of 1... then i say to him... can dun put me at kacang and cb... i sick of it liao... but think he haf no choice... not much ppl working... sure tio cb and kacang one... hai.. oh ya... my finger got scalded by the rice cooker... *ouch* it hurts man... then i haf to keep cooking the chick peas... think i cannot work at cb... when i haf to help kacang cook food... coz bound to haf things happen...

oh ya... pl: jamie yeo is a stuck up and she suxs... she is too skinny not pretty at all...

-=:agu:=- EvErYtHinG haVe iTs owN RigHt AmoUnt... Be It CoNfiDencE or PriDe... iT shOuLd NeVeR Be MoRe YeT NeiTheR LeSS...

working today

yo bloggie... went to nick's hse warming today.... a lot of food to eat... too bad me working and i was late... hahaha... if i not working can hang there... haahaha... actually me not working one... but hong xiang ask me... and i was hmmm ok loh... yesterdae i also not working one... but gary ask me... so i dun mind... lucky i went down to work... ADIDA first day at kacang.. if not kacang in a mess... ahahaha... but kacang easy lah.... juz alot to do... den this week i request to work 2 days... in the end i work 4 days hahaha.... oh welll... at least today i get to work BOX... finally... yipee... then me doing cb closing tomorrow... (-_-"') sian.... oh well... looking forward to tomorrow... sorry guys... me a failure ah... suppose to be hse visting but turn out to be playing at yenny hse... so sorry... coz me no use mah... hahahaha.... me also sian liao... oh ya school open hse starting soon... my class starting a booth... tt haf to be confirm... hmmm.... think tt will be all

P.S. : Jy: i am fine now... my imagination went on a holiday... so think too much and became sad... i noe u are there for me... but coz the prob is from gv... so can't relate the stuff to u...
ting mei: thanks for being there for me... coz u understand wat i said and reply my emails...
cy: u haven show tt special HIM to us
pl: hai... y ur #$%^&* proj. grp members haf to discuss on sun... hai....

-=:agu:=- SorrY is aLL i CaN UttEr WhEn I HuRt ur HeaRt... But iT maY Not Be WaT i HeaR WhEn u HurT miNe... FoR Do U EvEn KnOw U hUrT Me???