cried

hi bloggie...

i cried..
i cried myself to sleep...
3pm to 5pm was a peaceful moment for me...
my eyes were shut and there were no tears...
i cried again when the eyes are open..

i lost...

-=:agu:=- i cried over my own silly mistake

nagging thot 2

hi bloggie.. back from work... was kept v bz.. perhapes it was a good thing.. dun let me think too much.. but now when i am back here, in my room.. i haf to face it.. i need to think again... well, its just me.. i realise alot of things this afternoon.. when i chat wif fude.. haha.. i asked him wat is his opinion of me.. seem like, i portray a very different me, that i did not realise.. haha.. to him, i am v outgoing.. but, actually i am not.. i am a v shy person.. everytime, getting to know someone new, i have to pluck up the courage... i have to put on a brave front.. haha... hard to imagine for a lot of ppl bah.. hmm, ok maybe not shy as in very to myself, not wanting to tok that kind.. but everytime the first step, like just introducing my name, i need alot of courage.. haha, hard to see hor.. if u are realli that observant, maybe u can hear that tremble in my voice.. haha...

have i portray a different person from wat i realli am? or i have different self to protect my true one? i dunno... few days ago was chatting wif another fren.. is friendship that fragile, or has it not seen the worse? well, just hope, after the storm, the sun is shining bright... i, myself, thot about my friendship wif my friends... are our bonds weak, or strong? have we weathered enuff storm to be B.F.F (best fren forever)... is it possible to maintain that closeness... lai smsed me today.. he asked if i wanted to get my bluetooth thingy... was so touched! thanks bro.. made me realise i do haf good frens.. frens that concern bout me.. was i thinking too much? maybe yes... i realise, now, i reflect alot.. is it good or bad.. have i lost that optimistic me? or just being a more realistic one?

i realise my space shuttle never took off
the one i built
the one i pilot
perhaps i am not a good architect
perhaps i am not a good astronaut
or i was deferred
or i have lost my motivation

i dunno where i am heading.. no longer... perhaps i am tired le.. maybe i shld do as fude said, rest...

anyway, work was v bz... once i reached GV, asked me changed trans.. -.-... then i did cb closing b4 EOS.. hmmm, bz bz bz...

-=:agu:=- i wished my destination wasn't far...

nagging thot

hi bloggie.. hai, having this nagging thot that i cannot put it down... hmm... gonna go work.. later shall explain.. hope i can get over it... i have changed once again

-=:agu:=- I realise my space shuttle never took off...

new phone!

hi bloggie! haha.. things are okay for me.. hmmm, well, was thinking *yes again* haha.. nah.. nothing serious.. just wat happen in the past week, haha.. ok shall not waste time

2 june thurs...
had WISP IS.. haha.. hmm was late.. but thankfully the teacher still mark my attendance.. haha.. overslept.. hmmm, after class went for lunch and went to project room.. did my pour plates, n prac assignment... then went off for dinner... *wink* then after that home... hmmm, got new phone.. sony ericsson K700i! hmmm... luv this phone.. v nice... to my taste! haha.. luv the functions... hhahaha

3 june fri
hmmm, school.... then went to work... morning got something on.. that made me miss proteomics at 2.. actually is i forgot proteomics is at 2.. i thot its at 3.. oh well. then count my colonies for the IL2 then went to work... haha.. crapped along wif francia, leilany, xian, cheow tee, lai, peh, peggy, wence, jac.. haha.. then home after closing.. sleep like a zhu..

4 jun sat
hmmm.. now loh.. just had lunch.. slacking, blogging, thinking.. ahha... finding new midi for blog.. hmmm


-=:agu:=- The smartest thing human ever made is a friend...

happiness and sadness

hi bloggie.. just survive the change of events faster than a speedboat that i experience delight and disappointment so fast! wow... shall explain

mon 30 may
hmmm... school was okay.. had life science seminar (LSS) tutorial... tutor is Rehka! hai.. Dr. Rekha taught me in year 1.. and her indian accent is still going strong.. oh well.. at least she just see us for tutorial.. and its once in 2 weeks.. so not too bad.. but i reckon our class is notorious to her.. haha. happen to be in the happening class every time! last time in sec school... rbr sec 1 n 2.. always get the happening class..
sec 3 and 4.. may be a lil dead.. but still happening! and create chaos... haha.. in poly... 3 years liao stuck wif the same happening ppl! wow! haha.. question now is how many happening i just said? haha.. jk.. a lil hyper now.. just got a lift in spirits.. =D continue.. we made her real angry the other time.. haha.. not realli angry but irritated.. she taught me OBC(organic Biological chem).. haha.. maybe we have a thing wif chem tutor.. haha.. except Dr. Zamen... Ong Li hui was my IPC tutor.. haha.. rbr she cannot realli stand our class. but we were her first class.. nowadays see her.. she smile smile.. maybe not her students.. she can tolerate.. oh well. she is my LO.. haha.. so fast gt to know my LO le.. and my attachment is in another 3 months.. haha... after tutorial went to lab.. did my sea water filtration and went to forday's lec.. Bioprocess technology (BTN) get ready pillow.. haha.. not my kind of stuff but gotten learn...

tue 31 may
hmmm.. had Proteomics lec... haha.. was there on the dot.. haha.. so proud of myself! haha.. then latecomers beware.. Huang yan is like.. stop every latecomer and repeat this... dun be late nx time.. its v distracting... bla bla bla.. haa.. well.. i learnt loads today.. brain saturated.. haha.. beside last nite did the tutorialss *beams*.. good gal! haha.. so i understood the lec.. haha.. then went to lab.. did my medium and prepare samples... went home and snooze early

wed 1 June
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EMILY!!!
haha.. hmmm, lazy to go school so early.. went in the afternoon for intergrated lab(IL2.. ) haha.. not bad lah.. i finished my flowchart, did the prac alone (gracia away for wisdom tooth extraction), finished it and understood the protocol (methods and material).. and also, went thru the tutorials.. happy to know my fact are right.. and realise i not that dense after all! haha.. reach home, check email... hmmm. surprise surprise.. my LO send me email, ask me to write CV coz the company requested! WHO ON EARTH IN MY COURSE WRITE CV! haha.. she send me a sample tt wasn't useful.. ok.. layout there.. but i still stuck at writing.. anyway the company is APEX clinical international.. some freaking big MNC! wow.. i am honoured and now realli hope i get it! but, my results sucks! hai.. hope the overlook that part.. but resume have leh.. thanks KRIS for helping.. ur creditials are great! haha.. then my sis lost her phone.. and my mum intending to use my plan to "upgrade" to get a phone.. well.. its sooner than i expect.. but dun think will get a phone i realli wan.. oh well.. bear wif it.. haha.. so imagine my roller coaster ride... happy got a good company, sad coz high chance cannot get, sad sis lost phone, happy i may get a new phone, sad, not the one i wan.. hai... haha.. but oh well.. happy now, coz i kan kai le... dun get company then it is just the company nv realise my good.. cannot get dream phone coz it occur in dreams not reality..

crapping as usual

-=:agu:=- Friends Are always there... Invisible but there...